I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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