matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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