i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize