If that was your dad, he is hot
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
