i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
