Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
please don't ironically join a cult
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