Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
