We won't sleep together?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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