moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
