Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
