Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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