Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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