are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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