i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
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