listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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