D3 body, D1 cock
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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