I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
