Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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