fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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