Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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