there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
