she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
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