Your tits are I can't wait for
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
