i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
