Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
