don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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