guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize