You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
