Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
