My hand turned me down
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize