You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
