Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
