A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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