take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
