Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
