You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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