wrigley field is MILF paradise
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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