I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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