ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
