You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
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I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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