That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
