Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
