Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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