Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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