Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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