she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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