we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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