in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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