This girl is more easily done than said...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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