Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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