i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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