Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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