1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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