road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
