he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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