i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
