I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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