Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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