I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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