stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
