So drunk, too bad you don't want this
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
