I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just high enough for therapy.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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