She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
