also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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